You're Crazy
by Anna Hibiki
Summary: Ken thinks about his ex and all the problems he had while being with him. R&R please!


You're Crazy

By: Anna Hibiki

Warnings: Shonen ai/Yaoi, horrible spelling.

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss Kreuz, don't own the song "You're Crazy" either, it belongs to my beloved Guns N' Roses.

Notes: This fic can be read in ff.net and my page.

You're Crazy

_I've been lookin' for a trace___

_Lookin' for a heart___

_Lookin' for a lover in a world that's much too dark___

You don't want my love 

_You want satisfaction___

_You don't need my love___

_You gotta find yourself another___

_Piece of the action, yeah_

You know, I though I had found it in you.

I though I had found what I hadn't in Kase, Yuriko, not even in Youji.

Yeah, I'm just stupid.

How could I expect that the infamous Schuldig, Schwarz's Mastermind, the biggest jerk the world has ever seen would love me?

Guess little Siberian is too naive. I trust too easily. I mean, just look at me, you come one day and say you wanted to go drink something, and I said 'Yeah, why not?', we weren't enemies then, so I though it wouldn't hurt to go take a drink with you.

At that time things were rather tense between Youji and I, so I accepted that little distraction.

And the little distraction burned me.

I fell for you and forgot about everything else. It was your face the first thing I wanted to see at mornings, and the last thing I wanted to see when I went to bed.

I loved you more than anything, but I was just a little toy for you.

It was a sad routine. I would wake up alone every morning, if I woke up at all because I usually didn't sleep when you where here. Even if I just wanted you to hold me after we had sex, you almost never did, only if you were too drunk to fuck again. Only then you softened a little, only then you held me, only then you gave me some of the affection I needed but didn't dare to ask for because I knew you would leave me.

Because you don't want my love, you want satisfaction. Is it true you don't need it either? Is it you don't need the love, or is that you don't want it coming from me?

I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know how to act anymore, especially now that Weiss and Schwarz are active again.

But still...

Say where're you goin' 

_What you gonna do_

_I've been lookin' everywhere_

_I've been lookin' for you_

_You don't want my love_

_You want satisfaction_

_You don't need my love_

_You gotta find yourself another_

_Piece of the action_

_'Cause you're crazy_

_You're fuckin' crazy_

_Ya know you're crazy_

_I said you're crazy_

I couldn't help it. I was like a little dog biting its owner's feet begging for attention. Always going after you, always trying to be as near of you as possible.

You found it so funny... It amused you that I wanted to be with you, to give you everything I have without asking for anything but affection in return. Sometimes I think that's the reason you were with me for such a long time.

And you laughed at me for that, but looked at me in that playful way of yours and grinned, saying that the kitty was cute and sentimental so he wanted to cuddle and hold hands, then you continued your joke grabbing my face and would start saying that I loved you and didn't want you to get away from me.

You were right, and you knew it, but still you wanted to play with me, because I amuse you, and you find it funny to break me apart. To hurt me. To use me.

You're fucking crazy, and you know it. We both know.

_Say boy where ya comin' from_

_Where did ya get that point of view_

_When I was younger _

_Said I knew sonmeone like you_

_And they said _

_You don't want my love_

_You want satisfaction_

_You don't need my love_

_You gotta find yourself another_

_Piece of the action_

_'Cause you're crazy_

_You're fuckin' crazy_

_You know you're crazy_

_I said you're crazy_

_Ooh you're crazy_

_You know you're crazy_

_Well you're crazy_

You know you're crazy 

The worst of it is that it's all my fault. I don't know why, but I always end up hurt, and it's because of my own stupidity.

First it was Kase, he used me to enter in the J-League, and when he got there, he destroyed me. I shouldn't have trusted him, but I was so naive then...

I met Yuriko a few years after I joined Weiss. I felt nothing for her, but being with her was the only escape I found to my problems. I hurt her, but it hurt me too.

And then there was Youji. We had an serious relationship for nearly a year, but things started to get tense when Weiss started to fall apart. You appeared then, and I left Youji to be with you. I shouldn't have done that, I can't forgive myself for hurting Youji, for leaving the only person who really loved me and I loved back, and now that I'm over you (at least I try), I know it's him the one I want, the one I need, the only one that would make me happy. But I fucked everything up.

Again, that was MY mistake.

I should have listened to Omi (he someway knows what we all do when we aren't in the flowershop) when he said you would use me and hurt me. And as usual, he was right.

But you know what? Three days ago I told Youji everything, how I feel for him, what I feel for you, and he gave me a new oportunity. And now, as I look at his sleeping face, at the little smile in his lips I know it's back there because of me, I know I'm over you. I know I don't love you anymore, that I can make it without you, that I can be happy.

That I don't have to beg for atention again, that I don't have to get the one I love drunk just to get some warmth, that I can give all the love I have inside to the person I love without being afraid to be abandoned.

And you know what? YOU are the one who's missing all those things.

You are the only one who's gonna be alone, you're the one who rejected all I wanted to give you.

Because you're crazy and won't ever change.

_You know you are_

_Bring it down_

You're fuckin' crazy 

.:: OWARI ::.

Oii!! Finished in only one chapter!! *sighs* I know it sucks, but the song suits Schu so well... Well it also has to do with me watching a few Guns N' Roses videos today *starts drooling at the memory of Axl and Slash at the 'You could be mine' video*, and since everytime I see Axl Rose I think of Schuldig and viceversa, I just couldn't help it and wrote this.

And now, if you wanna leave a comment with your opinions you'll make me very happy!!

Hasta luego!


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